Deluded
by AlaeaMori
Summary: ONE SHOT CONTINUED! One sided UlquiRuki, one sided HitsuRuki. Only for him, since the end of the war her only smiles are for him...but what of the other!...
1. Kuchiki Rukia

**Deluded**

**Ulquiorra-Rukia-Hitsugaya**

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She had never dealt with him directly, though she had seen him a couple of times, and heard of him often; after all he was the one responsible for tricking Orihime into leaving them. He was cold, calculating, indifference, and nihilistic; but above all he was an Arrancar, an Espada, the Cuatro Espada to be exact, he was Aizen's most loyal Espada for goodness sake and yet…

Yet she couldn't understand it, she couldn't understand herself. Maybe it was the stubborn bang of hair that hung across his forehead, so similar to her own, maybe it was the indifferent mask that he wore that reminded her of her own brother's mask. But was _his_ really a mask, she knew her brother capable of deeper meaningful emotions, his marriage to her sister was proof, as well as his willing protectiveness. But _his_ indifference, _his_ coldness, a mask or his true self; she wanted to believe the former. Why? She did not understand why, a part of her soul just seemed to lean to him; the moment she heard his name something stirred within, she thought it was just mere nerves.

But when she had first seen him, the stirring from within grew stronger, until she was shaking with the need to run to him and smack him across the head for frowning so. She had wanted to make his eyes - his alluring and soulful emerald eyes – sparkle with warmth; she wanted to make his lips twitch as he tried not to smile at her. She wanted to save him, but her body had frozen, had kept her from running to him; her soul was screaming for proximity but her body kept her prisoner to the distance.

None of it made sense to her; she was grateful that her body had not heeded to her souls desire for he surely would have killed her without a thought, but deep within she had regretted her body's reaction, she had regretted not going to him when she had the chance to.

It was too late now; she could not explain why her heart and soul sank when Ichigo and Orihime announced his death. She could not explain why her body trembled with the urge to hit Ichigo, the urge to scream at him _'Why! Why! Why were you not strong enough to control your hollow?!_' She could not explain why her fists tightened with fury at Orihime for not saving him, and envy at her that in the end it was _she_ that he had reached out to.

The war was over, Aizen defeated; there was much to celebrate, much to be happy about and yet her heart was broken, her soul defeated. She was in pain, and she couldn't understand why she was in pain, why it hurt that he was gone though she had hardly known him, though he was her enemy. She was aching with the need to see him again, to hurt him for leaving her, to yell and shout, and tease; make fun of his stray bang of hair and his compulsive neatness, she was aching to be near him but could not understand why.

She would volunteer for any message that was meant for tenth, she would even offer Matsumoto help with any paperwork if needed which thankfully was often. All to be near her captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya; he was not _him_ but his eyes were so similar, the same shade and depth. She would stare into his eyes whenever she could and imagine that he was _him_, imagine that she was with _him_, the _he_ was still alive, and was with her.

She was mesmerized by his eyes, so caught up in imagining him to be _him_; that often she would smile whenever he frowned at the paperwork or smirked slightly at something said, or furrow his brows in frustration. He noticed her attention, her secretive smile, Matsumoto noticed too, and many others soon came to suspect, he thought it was for him, they all thought it was for him. How could they know, how could he know; that when she looked into his eyes, it was another's face that she saw, that when she smiled or unconsciously stared at him it was for another. There was one other that he and the others knew of with emerald eyes, that held the same shade and depth, but he was the enemy, one of Aizen's minions, Aizen's most loyal now dead, they would never suspect _him_ to be the true cause of her wistfulness.

The more often she visited the tenth division, the less the aching from within; the more often she visited the tenth division, the more conscious he became of her presence, of her deep violet eyes so expressive, of that secretive smile he would catch upon her soft lips. If she was not at tenth he would go to her at thirteenth; his attention growing stronger that he would seek her after duties had been done for the day. She was unaware of his attention, for all she saw was _him_, that when he talked she would hear _him_, when his eyes sparkled in warmth for her she saw only _his_ eyes sparkle in warmth for her.

When, one night gazing up at the stars, his lips tenderly brushed hers, she responded softly but eagerly. When he drew her closer, and deepened the kiss slipping his tongue into her mouth and tasting the sweetness of her she responded with an eager moan. When he groaned out her name as he pressed his hardness against her, her legs parted willingly for him and she moved her hips against him in ecstasy. When his hand loosened the tie of her yukata and began fondling her breasts, her thighs had tightened against his hips as her hands travelled down to the sash securing his hakama while his free hand ripped the bind of her underwear and he tossed the obstacle aside. She freed the sash, his hakama pooling down to his ankles, she stroked his rigid manhood, his groan tickling her ear, _"Ulquiorra"_ she whispered into his ear, _"please!"_ her hips moving against him, begging him to take her now.

He stiffed, pushing her away from him he stumbled back, quickly pulling his hakama back up, his breath was ragged and he stared at her in disbelief. He had heard her right; no man in such a position would imagine another man's name being said. She steadied herself against the tree he had pressed her against, her eyes confused at his reaction. The moon crept out of the confines of the dark cloud lighting upon his face, her eyes widened at whom she saw 'Hitsugaya-taichou.' She brought the yukata around her, tying it quickly, sinking down to her knees she clutched at her collar. 'Of course' she thought to herself, the realization of how far her wishfulness had deluded her sinking in fast. She clutched at her heart, _he_ was gone, _he_ was truly gone, _"Ulquiorra!"_ she whispered painfully, tears cascading down her cheeks, her body shaking in sobs.

She didn't understand why, but she loved _him_.

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**AN; I don't quite like the title, but nehu its one part her delusion, and another part his (by his I mean Hitsugaya).**

**As it stands this is just a one shot. I decided to do a one shot to just excercise my mind, before i get into my other fics to finish the chaps for them. Wasn't really clear on the plot, but that's how it stands so I hope you like it...**

**reviews are really really appreciated**

**til next time**


	2. Hitsugaya Toshiro

**AN; I **_**WAS**_** meant to update the 'Hitsugaya Toshiro' chapter in my other fic. – Alive. Instead, I decided to update this One Shot's version since it's so bittersweet I can't help but love it. **

**Deluded**

_Hitsugaya Toshiro's POV_

He had never really paid much attention to her before, though he had always known of her; after all, she was the younger sister of a fellow captain, the Hogyoku girl and friends with those humans. Yes, they had in a way worked together when he and his team were assigned to Karakura Town, but even then, he paid her no real attention. She was small, shorter than him now since thankfully his growth spurt hit after the war during his recovery. She was respectful, which was expected of a Kuchiki, he was thankful she addressed him properly unlike that Kurosaki Ichigo.

Not anymore though, now he noticed her, how could he not. Matsumoto was living up her injuries especially when paperwork was considered and _who_ had willingly replaced her, none other than Kuchiki Rukia. It started as nothing really, she just seemed to be always the shinigami delivering messages from the 13th division, she wasn't even a seated officer, but maybe that was why.

However, he had never expected her to offer help to another squad, as she had done one day two months after the war had ended, as especially his squad. With Matsumoto as the Lieutenant – and a lazy one at that – who was still recovering, he knew the young shinigami's helpfulness would be exploited. And it was, she was present often, most times for the entire day. She had grown quiet, almost saddened since the end of the war; it did not suit her, that melancholy and pain in her eyes. Sometimes though, sometimes she would smile, and it was not ego that told him it was for him.

At first it had annoyed him, how quiet she was, he hated all the noise Matsumoto would make but from her, silence was too unnatural too sad and painful. They would work together in his office for hours in silence, an uncomfortable silence to him; he had only meant to break the silence, he had never meant to address her as Rukia. Her name had slipped out in a whisper, his low voice sounding unusually husky; it was loud enough for her to hear, he could not retract now. He had meant to call her Kuchiki; after all, he was very serious about proper respect and protocol followed. He would not take it back though, not when he saw the small smile appear upon her lips, the sadness in her violet blue eyes flicker away to something more content, more blissful. The blush that spread across her porcelain cheeks stirred his masculine pride; '_she's beautiful'_ he acknowledged to himself.

She had held his eyes, shyly, respectfully, waiting for him to continue, he had only wished to break the silence, he had no idea what to say now, especially with her eyes upon him. He wondered about the softness of her skin, the silkiness of her hair, he wondered about the taste of her lips; but that was only in a fraction of a second, such thoughts banished aside as mere hormones playing on him.

Since then things had changed, Matsumoto had noticed her attention at him, others noticed too, and he couldn't help but be proud for even Kurosaki couldn't get through to her as well as he. Kurosaki couldn't bring that smile upon her lip and in her eyes, he couldn't bring the sweet blush upon her cheeks, or bring back the playfulness in her manner. Maybe it was something he did, no one knew why let alone Kurosaki himself, but she had been distant with her human friends since the end of the war, even distant with the sweet natured Inoue girl.

He could not, would not help it though, the more often she visited the tenth the less that aura of sadness emanated from her. The more often she visited the tenth division, the more conscious he became of her presence, of her deep violet eyes so expressive and in only his company, of the secretive smile he would catch upon her soft lips. If she was not at tenth he could not help but seek her out at thirteenth; until the point he craved her presence daily, every second if he was honest, his attention growing so strong that he would seek her after duties had been done for the day. Just a glimpse of that smile upon her lips, the only smile she gave since the end of the war, a smile for only him. He was unaware that since her assignment she had never since addressed him as Captain, or Hitsugaya, as anything at all except for a smile, a smile that only appeared for him. Even when she talked, she had never uttered his name or title, he was unaware of any of that. He was only aware and certain that when he looked at her, knowing his eyes sparkled in warmth for her, she never, not once looked away, instead her gaze lingered, her cheeks blushed, and a smile formed upon her lips.

When, one night gazing up at the stars, he brushed his lips tenderly against hers, she responded softly but eagerly. He drew her closer and deepened the kiss slipping his tongue into her mouth and tasting the sweetness of her, her eager moan answered his silent pleas. He carried her towards the trunk of the tree, and groaned out her name, pressing his hardness against her. Her legs parted willingly for him and she moved her hips against him to his ecstasy. His hand loosened the tie of her yukata and began fondling her soft breasts, her thighs tightening against his hips as he felt her hands travel down to the sash securing his hakama. He ripped the bind of her underwear with his free hand and tossed the obstacle aside, while she freed the sash, his hakama pooling down to his ankles. He groaned into her ear as she stroked his rigid manhood,

"_Ulquiorra"_ she whispered into his ear, _"please!"_ her hips moving against him, begging him to take her now.

He stiffened; pushing her away from him, he stumbled back and quickly pulled his hakama back up. His breath was ragged as he stared at her in disbelief. He had heard right, no way would he _ever_ imagine another man's name from her lips, at such a time as this and such a _'man'_ said. He stared as she steadied himself against the tree he had pressed her against, her eyes confused at his reaction thus deepening his own confusion. How could she not be aware of who…no, _what_ she said, he backed away slowly, disoriented, his confused eyes never leaving her own.

The moon crept out of the confines of the dark cloud lighting up his face, he watched as her eyes widened at him, as if seeing him truly for the first time. She brought the yukata around her, tying it quickly, sinking down to her knees she clutched at the collar of material above her heart.

He fled; a hand clutching and scratching into the skin over his own heart, but he wasn't fast enough, wasn't far enough away, for he heard her upon the night breeze, heard her painful whisper _"Ulquiorra!"_ Her sobs carried to him across the distance as he shunpo back to his barracks.

He didn't understand why, but, it was _him_ she loved

**AN; Consider this a 'Series of One-shots based around the same event,' and NOT chapters. Poor Toshiro! Reviews are very much appreciated… 'til next time**


	3. Kuchiki Byakuya

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AN; Okay so I should be updating my Thank You fic. but I'm finding it hard to get right since it's a UlquiRuki chapter – finally! Nehu you'll be all happy that I've uploaded this little doozie.

Very short but hey it's our favourite big brother Kuya-kun!

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**Deluded**

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**_Kuchiki Byakuya's POV_**

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He had always paid close attention to her, she is his sister, the sister of his late wife…she is his pride. Maybe it is because of her resemblance to Hisana that makes him so protective of her, maybe because after losing his wife, his parents and being an only child, she is his only close family member. She wasn't Hisana though, she was so much more different, fragile and yet strong, cold and warm, dark and light. He had nearly lost her before, he vowed he would never lose her again regardless of any enemy or order. Yet he felt he was losing her.

The war was over, Aizen defeated; there was much to celebrate, much to be happy about and yet her heart seemed broken, her soul defeated. She was in pain, drowning in regret and melancholy. He didn't understand why, why she was so, why it seemed like he was losing her to whatever had clasped her soul, he wanted to know who, he needed to know who had hurt his pride.

She volunteered for all messages meant for tenth he did not think it wise, Matsumoto was amongst his last choice of women as a suitable influence over Rukia. However, the 10th division Captain was certainly more acceptable, a respectable captain and shinigami, with a reserved manner, most times. It began to appear to him that it was in fact the 10th division Captain that was her reason for visiting, just as others began to notice also. He did not think it appropriate, he would not approve if not for the smile that graced her face everytime she was around the young Captain. He did not want to concede, she was his pride, she deserved so much more, though he was thankful he was not the human, it was not consoling that with a Captain there was danger bound to be present.

He watched her closely, the more often she visited the tenth the less that aura of sadness emanated from her. The more often she visited the tenth division, the more conscious the young captain became of her presence. He knew, he made sure to know of everything since the end of the war, it grew to such a point that if she was not at tenth he sought her at thirteenth, and then he began to seek her after duties, even calling at his Manor. Byakuya had to admire the galls it took for the young Captain to call at his Manor, to request - however shyly and embarrassed – for the presence of his sister, but it did not stop the doubt that lingered in the back of his mind.

The young captain was helping her heal, but what of the human boy, what about Kurosaki Ichigo. He could not understand, at first he had thought that Kurosaki had done something – intentional or not – to hurt his pride, but it could not be, not when she was also distant with the other humans and especially the human girl, Inoue. She smiled for Hitsugaya but not for Kurosaki, not for Inoue or even that Quincy. Something had happened, something since or during the war; the only thing he could truly decipher to be the cause was that Shinigami in the Menos Nest. After the war, they had returned to rescue him but he could not be found; for two days, he had his men scour the Menos Nest for that man. Rukia had been desperate to find him, as if desperate to hold onto the hope that he was alive, against all odds, that he was still alive.

Could her melancholy be for _that_ man, if so was her attention to Hitsugaya real. He watched her more closely when he could, with Yoruichi and Soi-Fon's assistance he had two Onmitsukido watch over her constantly. It was brought to his notice that she never addressed the young captain by his title or name, nothing at all except a smile; a smile that only appeared for the young captain. His suspicion grew; Renji and the human's reports on the character of that shinigami had furthered his suspicion, a lonely man, quiet, but resilient and passionately dutiful; attributes that could be applied to the young Captain.

Byakuya knew now, understood now; that when she looked at Hitsugaya it was another's face that she saw, when she smiled or unconsciously stared at him it was for another. He understood that looking at him, being with him, she was imagining another, imagining that he was _him_, that she was with _him_, that _he_ was still alive, and was with her.

She was in mourning, unaware of his attention for all she saw was _him_, that when he talked she would hear _him_. Byakuya was certain of this, certain of this delusion she had fashioned in her grief; certain and saddened, for he knew not how to remedy this to save his pride.

When, one night gazing up at the stars from within the gardens of his manor, he felt the sudden rush of Hitsugaya Toshiro's reiatsu entering the Seireitei. An aura of raging melancholy was emitting also from the young Captain for all of Seireitei to feel, those of age or who knew such a feeling would understand immediately what had happened, what such an aura meant…a broken heart.

The moon freed fully from the blockade cloud shone down brightly upon him, Byakuya knew, it had happened at last, the delusion was broken as if by the light of the moon itself, he was no longer _him_. His pride was broken but so was Hitsugaya Toshiro, for his pride it was necessary. Byakuya shunpo'd away from his gardens towards her grieving reiatsu emanating beyond the Seireitei walls, he could feel her broken heart, the realization that _he_ was gone, _he_ was truly gone, and he felt almost certain that her sobs were carried upon the breeze to him.

He did not understand why, but she loved _him_

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AN;

**Also, Rukia's desperation to find Kano is set after her finding out about Ulquiorra's death, so her desperation to find Kano alive is more a reflection of her desperation in hoping against all evidence that **_**he**_** (Ulquiorra) is still alive. **

**So Byakuya figures out Rukia's deluded but is deluded himself in thinking it is all for Kano-kun.**

**Delusions all around…**

**Reviews are appreciated…'til next time**

**AlaeaMori**

**So Kuya-kun thinks Rukia has deluded herself into thinking that Toshiro's Ashido Kano, that she fell in love with Kano-kun and is grieving over him and blaming Ichigo and the other humans. Kano-kun is the **_**him**_**, he refers to**


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